Showing posts with label balancing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label balancing. Show all posts

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

365 Days Five Hundred Twenty Five Thousand Six Hundred Minutes 52 Lessons

It's been one year. Can you believe it? I've stuck with this for one year and I hope that there are many more.

This post is going to be a bit of a retrospective and a bit of personal reflection and hopefully a few lessons thrown in. Usually I spend a few days working blog posts over but today is important and I need to get a post done.
I was reading over my first post and I've never had an incredible memory but I can remember the exact moment that I was describing in that introduction. I remember the song I was listening to (window bird by stars) and I remember what floor I was on as I stood in the elevator (six). I remember the questions I was asking myself all of which were about relationships and who asks who and all that crap. I asked questions like What does a date entail? Do teachers ever tell you the truth? How do you separate something deep from a pile of angst?
I can now say
1)  I already answered this in another post
2) Teacher do tell the truth sometimes. Teachers can be total ass faces but they can also be the kind of people who change your life. 
3) You separate something deep from a pile of angst by waiting. Passionate speeches work really well in works of fiction but often if we attempt them in real life we end up embarrassing ourselves or sounding incredibly cheesy. In a year I've had to say a lot of important things to a lot of important people. Some of these things I thought out and waited before saying and others I just blurted out. The things I thought about always were a little less angsty and went over a little better.
I thought it would be cool to compile a list of all the lessons I've learned/taught this year so here we go!

1. Preparation is  just as important as the end result
2.You never figure everything out about everyone. Or anyone for that matter.
3.Never trust ANYONE who tells you where your exam is not the commissionaire or your classmates NOBODY
4.Possibility is the most fickle thing in the world and when it disappears that is not the end of the world. 
5.Summer doesn't have to be defined by how many people I hang out with or parties or events
6.often all a day needs is a new playlist,a good library book and shade in your favorite hammock.
7.Remember to listen. Not just hear but listen.
8.Love,Like,Relationships are never ever easy.
9.That your body will change. You have to accept that slowly and learn to at least like it.
10.It's okay to lack religion but life is pretty hard when you lack belief.
11.Accomplishments are measured by "Done" lists not "To Do" lists.
12.Expectations are important not only do that make life worth living by giving us a reason to wake up in the morning.
13.People lie..
a lot.
14.It's okay to cry.
15.We're always going to make mistakes with our friends.
16.The worst thing that can ever happen when you try is that you will fall flat on you're face. But at least you can say "I was there"
17.Sarcasm is fun optimism helps us grow.
18.Scary things are important.
20.There is no way that you can grow up without assessment.
21.life doesn't have to be about deep thoughts or trying to get somewhere with something all the time.
22.Growing up is confusing period
23.there are things in life that I refer to as big deals and these are important to talk about
24.knowing where you came from and why your life is how it is, is well important. We lament and celebrate and learn from the past.
25.We all get pigheaded and sometimes it's a good thing, being able to stick to your guns makes your a better debater/conversationalist/interesting person.
26.Making your voice heard is important and whether you follow popular or unpopular viewpoint as long as you are not spreading hate well your doing the right thing. 
27.maybe it's this crazy rush to get all the cool/important stuff in that helps us prioritize.
28.you could be in a box car or something in the middle of winter with not much else and as long as you had great people with you then it won't be so bad.
29.classy and comfortable always beat out skanky and uncomfortable.
30.there is not a single "meaning of life" but instead there is a lot of things crammed together and if we can figure at least one of them out then we're doing a pretty good job.
31.Having passion is imporant.
32.We all can so often find ourselves obsessed with perfection especially during the holidays. But that is never going to happen so we might as well give it our best shot and then throw in the towel.
33.Check the expiry dates on tofu.
34.we all need to set goals because that's what gives us the motivation to have our done lists.
35. On new years eve You can't look back and focus on the bad or the mediocre. You have to find one day where you felt infinite and hope that by this time next year that you can find at least two.
36.Listening to the voice inside your head and talking it out can be good (Of course only when this voice is normal and not talking shit about you or telling you to do bad things.If so get help asap)
37.Change is always a mixed bag.
38.sometimes despite our innate stubbornness the smartest thing is to get out.
39.Terrible things are going to happen. They shouldn't and nobody deserves them and maybe there will come a time where everybody's lives are perfect. But right now they're not.But we trust that in these things we can only grow.
40.Love your neighbourhood. Go take pictures. Remember that this will always be "home" because this is where you grew up. You will come back and the tree's will seem a little less tall your neighbour's garden a little less lush and the playground will be a little less maintained but you will have pictures.
You will have memories.
You will have your childhood forever preserved by a street sign.
41.Maybe we can only change ourselves about 15% and that makes sense to me. But even if we can only change 15% there is so much out there that we can experiment with. So out of 100 attempts at change we get 15 right and 85 other learning experiences.
42.Volunteering is simply about time. It's about effort and contributing no matter what the cost. In a way it's about giving up and giving of yourself. 
43.experimenting is important. Being safe while experimenting is of course one of the more important parts of that lesson but it's easy to forget that  old saying "You're only young once". 
44.we all need to take a moment and see how much we have changed. See what we have let into our lives.
And be grateful.
And care.
45.Sometimes you have to go with your gut
46.sometimes we need to let go. 
47.every once and a while you need to remind yourself that the world revolves around the sun not you.
48.I've learned that nothing ever works out the way we script it as.
50. We need to learn to show more sides of ourselves or maybe accept the fact that there will be a different public self and until our world gets a little more diverse it'll be a pretty narrow picture.
51.There will be things that we can never do alone but that we have to. Things like solo's or making tough decisions about your own future. 
So we have to tell ourselves to take a back seat. We have to get rid of everything inside of us that is scared or worried or unsure.
52.There are lessons and beauty in every moment of sadness and joy and anger and confusion.

I hope I have taught my sisters something. I know I have taught myself something.

Sunday, May 23, 2010

She was the still point of the turning world

This weekend I learned a few things. I was reminded of the fact that I am the kind of person who likes the indoors. I learned that there are some "teenage milestones" that are quite underwhelming. For example drinking and wandering outside. 

Really if you haven't done it yet you can just skip that one. 
Unless of course you are into bug bites and cramped spaces and public parking lots.
Which some people are so more power to you.
But in a strange way I'm happy that I did this.
I've learned that experimenting is important. Being safe while experimenting is of course one of the more important parts of that lesson but it's easy to forget that  old saying "You're only young once". 
Balance,moderation these are the things that are supposed to lead us to a happy life. And we often go to extremes. We want to be very very good and if we can't we often go for very very bad. Even though I didn't really enjoy that night there were fun moments. Sitting on an old friend's lawn and laughing or sitting by the lake in silence, there is something nice about being, about trying.
We need to remember to try. Because that is how we get out of ourselves. And even if we learn that we are much happier back within ourselves we have learned something.
That's worthwhile. 

Monday, July 13, 2009

Today I learned about language. It's amazing how the vibrations of our vocal cords contain so much. But what is a voice without an ear?

So many times we all seem to forget to listen. Not just hear but listen. Sometimes it's harder to listen then it is to talk. It's finding that balance that is so tough. As I mentioned in my first ever post being a teenager is almost impossible at times. Humans by our very nature are self centered,not just teenagers and striking the balance between talking and listening is what keeps our sanity and friendships.

In my first post I also talked alot about how rapidly growing up changes. What amazes me is that with every option we have to talk to people we feel like our voices are'nt heard. I am not saying that this is the only generation that has felt silenced for every generation has. Maybe it's because with every chance we are given to show ourselves to the world we are given one more place to spread a persona.

Maybe none of these million outlets ask for a real person.

Status updates should be proclaimations of our amazing lives or Jerry Seinfeld esque witty observations. Perhaps the reason that we have'nt seen a rush to the comedy clubs that was seen is in the 80's is because every wannabe comedian has simply taken to their twitter account.

Maybe this is a blessing. Two painful hours in a comedy club reduced to 140 characters. But if we don't take advantage of these oppertuinties to make our voices heard then what vare we going to miss out on?

Once again it all comes down to a balancing act of talking and listening and being confident in being heard. Because once you learn balance it's as easy as breathing the hardest part is to move on.