My dream was realised but I was sleeping

This week I learned that sometimes you have bad weeks.

Really bad weeks and sometimes those weeks are so bad that you decided to throw away your life ambition and become a asexual hermit whose has cats and maybe a coffee machine.

I really haven't given this week much thought in terms of lessons for my sister but due to my nonexistent readership I thought I would try and make something out of this week so I feel better when I check my statcounter page.
This week I learned that people lie

a lot. People lie so much that your never going to catch all of it and every once is a while you are going to be so fooled that your left feeling like a four year old.

I now accept this I've got a (hopefully) long life ahead of me and I'm going to be left feeling hopelessly stupid many more times. This brings me to number two on the list of things I learned this week.

IT IS OKAY TO CRY

Many people would wonder why I would bold and CAPS LOCK this it seems so obvious but sometimes the things are hidden in plain sight.

Emotions suck at times because feeling hurt...hurts feeling mad can feel ugly and out of control and feeling happy can just feel so lame in an overly cynical world.

At the end of the day though sometimes you need to put on the fluffy sweater turn on the TV grab your overly large dog and do some serious big baby style sobbing. Then you can ingest the chemical weight of a small factory in strawberry marshmallows.

Things seem better. Then you have crazy dreams about elevators and stuff.

But it's a fair tradeoff.

Finally I learned that were always going to make mistakes with our friends. Sometimes they are going to be really really really big mistakes and we just have to wait it out. Because you can't make anyone forgive you. Sometimes you really mess up and your going to have to wait for that person to comes to terms with it.

I didn't think that the first nine days of school would be this hard/educational/amazing

In the meantime I'll watch Glee while pretending to be Rachel Berry and manufacturing a lovechild wardrobe of Emma Pillsbury and Kurt Hummel. TV addictions are a sad thing never fall into them.

memories like mohair sweaters stressed and pilled with distressed letters

Welcome to my school. Check out that amazing polyvore-ish display of uniformed perfection.Actually I don't mind my uniform I get to wear a skirt (an unflattering polyester one but beggars can't be choosers right?)

I am a catholic school girl and a choir girl and a band geek and..... Well a bit of an outsider in terms of representing my school's values at times.

I have a lot of issues with my church the whole anti gay,abortion and really in terms of roman catholic ideals women. Right now I'm kind of lacking religion. But I'm not lacking belief.

If I could pick one thing that I think defines humans from everything else it would be belief.

Because whether you are religious or agnostic or an atheist you believe in something even if that something is a belief in nothing.

Life is nothing without passion right?

Our beliefs create passion. Last year after Obama was elected there was a huge debate in my school with our official pro life club "Silent No More" who wore black tshirts and handed out red strings in mourning for the thousands of murdered unborn babies.

I handed out special pro choice strings and debated in the hallways.

It was a pretty big deal.

It's strange going to mass and singing about God when I have such an issue with the catholic church. But I love singing the Pergolisi Suite every Good Friday and this amazing feeling that absolutely consumes my soul when i sing or listen to people who are better than me. So I take a more secular approach to my enjoyment of the pieces. (By the way Pergolisi lived a pretty crazy cool life check him out)

I know a lot of people my age who are getting into Buddhism and that's cool. I like the idea of figuring out how you fit in the universe and how you have to do that by realizing how tiny yet important we all are. I'm also a fan of their lack of a GOD WHO WILL SAVE ALL YOU TERRIBLE PEOPLE!

But in the end belief is belief and it gives us something to hold onto a reassurance of something constant.

So what do I believe in? I believe that all humankind is strong and resourceful and beautiful and good. That in the end everything will be okay as long as we take hold of that goodness and put it to work.

Summer is ending I go back on the eighth and if anything I want to bottle up how I feel right now and be able to call upon it .

Also if you can't tell from my title I'm on an Andrew Bird kick.