Falling, yes I am falling, And she keeps calling me back again.

Today I learned about promises. When I was studying for my anthropology/psychology/sociology exam there were questions about human potential and as usual I over analyzed everything  but it made me think about promise and potential.

This summer has the promise to be a lot of things as most summers do. Two months will fly by and in a way this is a last summer. Next year will be about goodbyes and moving on. So this summer has to count. We can try and make lists and plans but we know those only sometimes come to fruition. So we promise and we trust in the promise of summer. The promise of our potential. We will create more memories with the people we hold dear. 

Two months is filled with everything. I know it won't be 90210 and it probably won't even be Daria or Glee but it will be life. 

That will be enough.

This is short but I think it's important.

tick tock

Around this time last year I started talking about dating and relationships. I thought I was figuring them out and was hoping I could get some good lessons on such a tricky topic. Those series of posts were later followed up with a post about how people lie. So I guess I though I didn't have the best experience ( or really any experience) I learned something.
Timing is weird. Sometimes I imagine a higher power just sitting at a board game ,drinking and just going "THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR BEING MEAN TO THAT PUPPY. NO LOVE LIFE FOR YOU"
Maybe that's a bit blasphemous.
Anyways what I am saying is that this week I learned to wait.
Time moves like it is on it's own schedule. Sometimes minutes feel like hours and other times you blink and a few months have past. But time is always there and in time we grow. We have time to search and time to find. There is always enough time for things to sneak up on us whether it's assignments or people or chances. Sometimes we make them sometimes we don't.
In a year I've learned that time doesn't have to depend on anything or anyone. Time passes no matter who we are with or what we are doing. I learned that time doesn't just have to be passed but can be used and grabbed ,harnessed for us.
Time is a tool. 
Time is a friend.
Time is running out and soon time will become more fluid and much less readable. 
Summer time. 
I'm scared by how similar this post is to my previous "starting summer" post but I'm different now.

I'm a terrible blogger! I thought I could commit but life takes over (please do not assume I have a social life instead I've had a lot of family time vacations etc etc.) But here's what I have learned during my hiatus.



Love,Like,Relationships are never ever easy.



DUH! Well of course I knew this but did I ever realize how hard it would be? Like even getting to square one date wise?



In my first post I asked what a date was,though my bio sis has had a relationship or two (against the family rules by the way). She has yet to be on a date.



NOTE: I believe in dating the "old fashioned way" dates first then you are that persons boyfriend girlfriend etc etc.







Well though the date never happened I learned what one consisted of.







A LESSONS FOR MY SISTER DEFINITION







Date [dey-te] noun,verb ,dat-ed,date-ing. A meeting of two persons of a romantically social manner in which the dater pays for the date-ee. Examples of a date often include entertainment and food. Food is always good cause it stops you from talking too much. Movie talkers should undergo extensive rehabilitation before going on dates. Dates are very fragile,mothers are especially fragile about first dates.







There we have it our first definition!







Back to my big realization that relationships are hard. What really makes them hard is other people though. But enough on that I'm starting to sound angsty.







Another thing I learned... yes I did learn a lot how could you not look at this landscape and think?

A huge part of my blog is about growing up. This is the 2nd largest stage of my brain development (The first was around ages 2-6). As I get older mentally and physically it's hard for me to deal with at times. For example growing two bra sizes in the same number of months. I have a precious collection of gray tshirts all gone because I have really really weird genes.
Something I had to learn the hard and long way with the help of my friends family therapist and the voice of amazingness in cyberspace HAIL MARY. Was that my body will change. I have to accept that slowly and learn to at least like it.
It's even stranger because as I learn to deal with my rapidly evolving body my parents have to deal with my rapidly changing mind.
It took me a very very long time to admit to anyone I wanted to go on dates or have crushes or be in relationships. I'm stupidly cynical really. So now that I want these things and am rushing to the starting gate I have to realize....
NOBODY ELSE IS THERE! Continuing with the racetrack metaphor they aren't even at the track. So I need to take a step back.
We all want the world to agree with us to see things our way at our times. So my sisters I ask you to join with me in remembering to give our parents a break.
If there is anything that i have learned in the past few weeks love/like/lust is difficult and throwing in angry confused parents makes it even harder.

Wow...
Glad I got all that off my chest.

Anyways... I am asking the readers (the few that there are whom I love. please don't be creeped out). To put up with me while I try a few new things with this blog. I'm going to try putting some more varied posts about the things that are important to me and I hope you'll comment on them. Of the very very few things I know for sure (no clue how Oprah writes one every month.) I know that finding your passions and putting them out there are VERY important to growing up. I have a few things on the burner such as
JELLY-GATE and my opinions of the self esteem saver mamaVISION
God,Abortions,Buddhism,GSA's and being a choir girl in a catholic school.
and my love affair with David Levithan and his amazing novellas.


Did you make it through the whole post?

PS I am now a Twit!