The North American Dream Sweeping Team.

Today I learned about humility. When you are a white middle class teenage girl (or anyone really though the white middle class is especially good at this) it's easy to see yourself as a "saviour" (a great example of this is How Not to Write About Africa). I have to say I was like that when I learned I would be participating in a habitat for humanity project. It's easy to get a swollen head when people are telling you how great it is that you are doing this, the gift that you are giving someone.
Yes I am giving the gift of my time, I am making a small small contribution. 
I had to be reminded of that. We all have to be reminded of that.
How?
Well sweeping for about eight solid hours will do that for you.
I did briefly use some power tools and I put up some drywall but basically it was solid sweeping. Picking up discarded pieces of wood and insulation. Cleaning, cleaning and more cleaning.
I must admit I complained. I bitched. But I got the job done. By the end of the day I was tired and covered in a thin layer of dust.
I was at a loss for what I had learned. What I had contributed.
It was only when I saw on my facebook page that another student was talking about how happy he was that he didn't go. That it was ridiculous to spend $50 dollars on a broom (all participants must raise $50 in pledges.)
That's when I saw the I's. That's when I realized that this day wasn't about being a saviour and it wasn't a waste of time.
Volunteering is simply about time. It's about effort and contributing no matter what the cost. It's about solitude sometimes and bonding with people others. It's about doing what is needed not what looks pretty. It's about giving everything you have whether it's your talents or simply some physical labour.
In a way it's about giving up and giving of yourself. 
So I guess the only thing I'm left wondering is
What are we going to do next?

Prooouuddd Proud to be Proud to see (this moment demands a tegan and sara song)

It's been a crazy three days. I've learned that discrimination is out there,ignorance is out there. Well I knew that but I don't think that I really understood what it felt like. I'm white and middle class living in liberal suburbia. But of course there will always be people who don't share my views...loudly. These views can be scary they can be offensive and in my mind they are wrong(but who am I to judge?). I know that people go through stuff like this every day. That discrimination or hatred is something that we will all experience and something we have to deal with.

I have been reminded though that I am a child. I can fight like an adult, I can speak like an adult but I am a child in this I realize that I should not have to feel the need to fight with adults every day.

So what do we do? For no matter how "average" my sister is she will experience some form of discrimination or belittlement.

Well we have a few options we can stay and fight, we can duck our heads down and hope for the best or we can get out.

You know sometimes despite our (my) innate stubbornness the smartest thing is to get out.

So I changed my schedule and since that 1:45 meeting with guidance I've had a massive smile on my face that nothing (not even the cooking class I know have to take) can wipe it off. I made my points I stood up for myself and what I believe in. I did all i could and maybe I didn't last long but I lasted long enough.

Now I'm going to keep myself safe because it is my right to feel safe where I learn.

I can handle that.

PS If your ever interested in the photography/less composed musings/musical tastes that I throw out onto the internet my tumblr is the place for that.

You Need To Read This

Being pushy on the internet is not usually a good thing. The internet is an angry angry place where people attack each other and prejudiced can be masked by usernames like sexii_angel_baby92. But I think it's time that my (some say pushy I say determined) personality shines through a little more. So if you only read one post on my blog read this one.

This is Nikki Mawanda, 27, who was born female but lives as a “trans-man” and his life is at risk.

There is something terrible going on in Uganda. See there's a law which originally would of allowed a gay genocide and now will probably be life imprisonment. Life in prison means hundreds of beatings and rape in a so called attempt to "cure" homosexuals.

See I know that marriage equality is important and I will of course be watching the prop 8 trials this week. But I can't really get into the whole marriage equality thing as much as I wish I could when something like this is going on. Because marriage equality cannot be the number one issue for the gay community if people are still being killed for who they love. So what can I do? What can you do?

1.Write. Write letters to the UN to your government representatives. Tell them that you care about this and that you want them to do something too. Write on your Facebook, Twitter your school newspaper and your blog.

2.Talk tell you friends. Make people so angry at you due to the fact that they won't shut up that they do something.

3. Protest. This ties into writing and talking but get together and join or create a demonstration.

4.Wear. Make a t shirt a tote bag a button that sparks conversation so you can work in number two if you are shy (like I am sometimes) and can't bring it up. If clothes are a way to show the world who you are then show the world that you want to stop this.

5.Donate. Places like the Astraea Lesbian Foundation are getting money to the precious few gay rights activists out there.

6.Read/Watch. Read the New York Times watch the Rachel Maddow show. The more informed you are the better you can talk and write and of course make cool liberal references "So I was watching the Rachel Maddow show..."

7. Reclassify While you are reading writing wearing talking donating and watching remind the world that these are not gay rights these are human rights. We need to reclassify and rehumanize these sort of things and remind people that every fight for rights of a human being affects them.

8.Finally though it sounds sappy. Pray or send out good vibes or just think of these people before you go to bed. There are so many people who use religion as a way to justify this kind of thing. Don't believe the crap God (or whatever you believe in) loves everybody end of story.

It's the second decade of the 21st century this kind of stuff should not be going on. It will not go on. Not if I have any say in it.