Opening Night It's opening night! It's our latest show will it flop or will it go?

Remember way back in the day when I  posted about auditioning for the play?
Well if you can't tell from the title it is opening night. And I guess we could call this the first ever lessons for my sister liveblog. I'm on my lovely friend Peter's laptop. Because this is a liveblog I don't really know where this is going but this feels like the right thing to do.

Which brings me to lesson number one
Sometimes you have to go with your gut. From attempting a liveblog to picking that slightly more difficult song for the spring concert to well being in the school play there are always going to be things that are a little different or a little scary. And that's when we go with our gut. We stop, we think and we go with instinct number one refusing to acknowledge the stupid second thoughts that threaten to consume us.

Today I learned about letting go. As I write this people run over scenes and practice blocking and touch up false eyelashes and yell at other cast members for touching their flashlight and the room is a mess and well it's general chaos. But the curtain is going to go up in nine minutes and there will be nothing we can do. The show must go on right? Though I'm sure we all harbour the fear that things will go so wrong that the show will not go on. So as type I am surrounded by what looks to be simply a group of people gone mad. Or as we like to call ourselves actors.

Today I was reminded of commitments. We live in a world that discredits commitment. It's not really expected anymore.We should aim for total commitment but there is this understanding that In play related news the actors have just left for their posistions on stage. Four minutes and counting. Cue that Madonna song getting stuck in my head. It's been months of work all for this. Seven shows. Which seems like a lot now that I type it. But I guess all we can do is take this thing one show at time. One act at a time. One scene as a time.  Scenes that have been run over and over and over
and over again. 


  And we got this. I keep telling myself that we got this. Six minutes behind schedule we were just told (quite politely) to shut up. They're telling the audience (politely) to shut up and the swingle singers are playing in the backround. That music reminds me of the million times I've heard it played. The million times I've sang along to it in rehersals. I never thought that I would invest this much time or learn to care so much about this thing. I guess that this is like the rest of my life. Investing time, making commitments and starting to love well...whatever it is. Babies, spouses, hopefully jobs. I know that I'm doing a lot of expanding here but you know I've had a lot of time to think about my future lately.

  Our first laugh. It's followed by another...and another. Now they're clapping. Apperently there are'nt many people out there but I don't care. If this is the rush I get out of someone else's applause I know that the real deal will be brilliant.


It was.


This is late but the lessons have had a chance to sink in.
Can something as insignificant as three boring,commonplace lines change you?
Answer:
Yes.

You Need To Read This

Being pushy on the internet is not usually a good thing. The internet is an angry angry place where people attack each other and prejudiced can be masked by usernames like sexii_angel_baby92. But I think it's time that my (some say pushy I say determined) personality shines through a little more. So if you only read one post on my blog read this one.

This is Nikki Mawanda, 27, who was born female but lives as a “trans-man” and his life is at risk.

There is something terrible going on in Uganda. See there's a law which originally would of allowed a gay genocide and now will probably be life imprisonment. Life in prison means hundreds of beatings and rape in a so called attempt to "cure" homosexuals.

See I know that marriage equality is important and I will of course be watching the prop 8 trials this week. But I can't really get into the whole marriage equality thing as much as I wish I could when something like this is going on. Because marriage equality cannot be the number one issue for the gay community if people are still being killed for who they love. So what can I do? What can you do?

1.Write. Write letters to the UN to your government representatives. Tell them that you care about this and that you want them to do something too. Write on your Facebook, Twitter your school newspaper and your blog.

2.Talk tell you friends. Make people so angry at you due to the fact that they won't shut up that they do something.

3. Protest. This ties into writing and talking but get together and join or create a demonstration.

4.Wear. Make a t shirt a tote bag a button that sparks conversation so you can work in number two if you are shy (like I am sometimes) and can't bring it up. If clothes are a way to show the world who you are then show the world that you want to stop this.

5.Donate. Places like the Astraea Lesbian Foundation are getting money to the precious few gay rights activists out there.

6.Read/Watch. Read the New York Times watch the Rachel Maddow show. The more informed you are the better you can talk and write and of course make cool liberal references "So I was watching the Rachel Maddow show..."

7. Reclassify While you are reading writing wearing talking donating and watching remind the world that these are not gay rights these are human rights. We need to reclassify and rehumanize these sort of things and remind people that every fight for rights of a human being affects them.

8.Finally though it sounds sappy. Pray or send out good vibes or just think of these people before you go to bed. There are so many people who use religion as a way to justify this kind of thing. Don't believe the crap God (or whatever you believe in) loves everybody end of story.

It's the second decade of the 21st century this kind of stuff should not be going on. It will not go on. Not if I have any say in it.

Here's to You...

Well it's been just over 24 hours since it happened and I am convinced that I've stop crying at the mention of it. Nothing terrible happened (thank god) but I don't think I've been this affected by any piece of acting this much ever. See we are doing historical monologues in drama class and Andrew Chown has proved to me that he is going to go places. He wrote a monolouge set during the final moments of Tony Chambers who was a mentally disabled man who was executed due to charges related to the rape and murder of an 11 year old girl. However the circumstances surrounding these charges have been deemed unethical by some.

It's not just that it was a brilliant preformance it that after I stopped crying I realized

This is what it's all about

I know I say that a lot but I've started to realize that there is not a single "meaning of life" but instead there is a lot of things crammed together and if we can figure at least one of them out then we're doing a pretty good job.

See passion is important and I believe that everyone has a talent so I guess it works out that our talents can become our passion.

Everyone has the chance to affect people for the better. To laugh,to cry to learn we might not know whats going on but we can be sure we are being affected. I can't say I am sure what my talent is. I like reading and writing and offering my uneducated therapist copying gut feeling psych help. But I know that if I can see the talent and beauty of a total stranger then there's got to be something for me too.

So I hope that the world see's Andrew Chown. I hope that we can all learn to see our talents and take action. The world can be such a terrifying and rejecting place but maybe if a few people change the way they think and a few more people take a chance and throw themselves out there then maybe the world will become a better place.

Here's to you world. Hope to hear better things from you soon.

Never Listened to True Colours

I have to admit I'm nervous about this blog post. It talks about something that can make a lot of people angry. But there are things in life that I refer to as big deals and these are important to talk about

DEFINITION TIME!

big

1  [big]

deal

1  [deel] Something that is loud inside you. The big priorities. The passionate mealtime conversations, the things that foster friendships and screaming arguments. Things that shouldn't be shut up. Things that make you take chances. Beautifully Terrifying things.

When I set out on my blogging adventure I was at least partially going for a survival guide for teenagerdom and whether you want to admit it or not sexuality (overt,hidden,questioning,outing all that good stuff) are a part of it. Growing up is confusing period. Fate/God/Whatever you believe in likes to throw curve balls at us and we learn how to deal...somehow. It's hard when you suddenly become a minority and you suddenly have to rewrite your story from the typical "Get married to the opposite sex have at least one child have a successful career somewhere" to something else and continuing with this rewrite metaphor I guess you could say that there's a chance that the publisher won't like this rewrite or you have to break it to your "creators" that you'll be taking things in a new direction and that there no longer going to be writers on your team (I spent a long time with this whole analogy please don't judge me too harshly). But you have to take that chance because in the end there are going to be people in this world who love your story and can see the whole picture and they'll love you. They'll suprise you.

It's how we handle these big scary things that is universal.

We talk things out with anyone even ourselves

We make a plan to be flexible

We remember that we are good people and that in the end everything will be okay

Somehow

Support

I'm Getting To Love My Freedom

So this is all about the play. Unfortunately I cannot create a Shakespearian take on this and talk about how all the world's a stage. That would just end up being sad. Instead I start with a definition

au⋅di⋅tion

  [aw-dish-uhn] –noun

The process of throwing yourself out there into the judging eyes of the populace. There is no kidding yourself that the people are not judging you as that is the whole goal. Tension is guaranteed and if you do not have at least one screwup you should not mention this perfect audition to others because you will be met with jealousy and hatred. I am talking to you talented drama kid. You know who you are.

Also I hope that the sound bite works. If so I hope you share my belief that whoever that guy is he is the coolest guy ever.

Back to the play. Well I made it in! Two lines but all the perks of being a cast member. Life is good. Auditions get you thinking. They are scary but necessary. A lot like everything really. Scary things are important. Because there is no way that you can grow up without assessment. Because you need to evaluate others and most importantly yourself. We separate the good from the crap. We give things second chances and sometimes we brush things off at the first glance. We hold stuff in. We always let it out somehow eventually. This is the scary part because the world...like an audition is always going to be analyzing not necessarily judging but analyzing. Maybe thats just me. We put on a good front. We learn our lines, play situations out in our heads and finally we write our names on the signup sheet. The lights go up and it's time for the dialog the monologue the dance. We'll never know the directors notes but we know we've been heard.

In the end I call that a success.

Also as you can see from my title I am battling a God Help The Girl obsession. Check them out. Totally Kick Ass.