Thursday, November 26, 2009

Colour My Life With The Chaos Of Trouble

Happy American Thanksgiving to my south of the border readers!
This post is kind of perfectly placed seeing as it's around a food based holiday and seeing as I was JUST DISCHARGED FROM THE EATING DISORDER CLINIC!
So naturally this post is going to be about body image. Cause it's a huge thing for (here's the shocker for some) EVERYONE! Female,male,gay,straight,all races all religions. Our own self image particularly the physical one is something that follows us around. Over the past two years that I've been with the clinic (Yet another reason I am so happy with Canadian healthcare system seriously I don't know what we would of done if the program cost money) I've learned a lot about body image. In todays crazy world with models having photoshopped heads bigger than their hips not only is it hard enough to have a good body image but in fact there's almost this pressure to have a poor one. Few people want to have the tagline of "they think their the shit" but I don't think it's wrong to look in a mirror and say "Damn I look good today" I hope my readers don't have a problem with doing this because the greatest thing ever is that you can change the whole tone of that often so critical once over that groups of people do when they look in the mirror.
There is two loud voices in the world when it comes to body image there is the WOMEN WITH CURVES ARE SEXY AND ANYONE ELSE IS NOT A REAL WOMAN and then there is Karl Lagerfeld. I can't say I agree with either of these voices. Thats why I love this there are women of colour,women of all ages and weights, body types and abilities. And they look strong and attractive. I've learned that making your voice heard is important and whether you follow popular or unpopular viewpoint as long as you are not spreading hate well your doing the right thing. I've learned it's easier to love others when you love yourself and the tiniest positive change you make sends signals out to the world that loving yourself and being comfortable in your own skin is a good thing and though it can be the hardest thing you've done at first it get's easier.

In other news I will be attending the Christmas formal. Now to look for something to wear....

Sunday, November 15, 2009

I could dance all night like I'm a soul boy But I know I'd rather drag myself across the dance floor

Yeah that looks like fun....

Being a teenager is hard sometimes. "Coming of age" rituals can be one of a few things
a)spirtiually enlightening
d) physically painful
e) all of the above.

It's November. Midterms are over, the attractive part of fall is coming to a close and whether it's humankind's need for ANYTHING to look forward to or it's everybody's favorite corporate soulless advertisers we seem to be getting in the holiday spirit.
Seeing as I am a junior this means:

winter formal

Now I know I talked about wanting to get involved, participate,make memories etc etc etc. But at this point I want to scream at the world GIVE ME A BREAK ALREADY!
I love getting dressed up,I love dancing, I love dancing with my friends but maybe it's the outsider in me that absolutely detests winter formal. I get to drink crappy Shirley temples, go to a banquet hall beside a highway and pay a ridiculous amount of money for stupid things.
It is hear that the lesson kicks in.
We all get pigheaded and sometimes it's a good thing, being able to stick to your guns makes your a better debater/conversationalist/interesting person. Then there are cases like me and winter formal where you realize that you are so far stuck in this rut that you have no idea how to get out. So you take a step back, you weigh the options and maybe you make a decision or decide to hold out to the last minute (Which is what I'll be doing). Have any of my readers been to any sort of formal? What were your thoughts?

Wednesday, November 11, 2009


Though my readership criss crosses the globe most of you have some sort of day of remembrance for veterans. So that's what this post is about but of course with a lessons for my sister twist. Also I will be focusing in on WWII simply because that is the biggest area of my history geekiness.
I live in a pretty amazing country. We have a country wide healthcare system, anyone can love whoever they want and get married too. We used to have an amazing morning radio show. (PS. CBC I hate you for the little "revamp" you inflicted on me). I can enjoy all of this for a few reasons and most of them have to do with war.
I can credit half of my existence to three men. Hitler, Stalin and Winston Churchill. See if Hitler and Stalin had never made that temporary alliance and Hitler had never broken it and then Hitler never of invaded the USSR then Great Britain would of never sent forces there to help with DP camps after the war and my grandparents would of never met.
That would of sucked.

That is a map of Nazi controlled Europe. When I look at that and I see how much we had to lose it terrifies me.People died so we could have a chance at getting the world right again.
We've been in a lot of wars since but few have come close to putting Canada in so much danger. I think thats the biggest testament to humankind. That we will go and try to fight for something we believe in just because it's right.
Peacekeeping, it doesn't often go along with guns or tanks and I'm no advocate of violence. But I am an advocate of respect.
So how is this a lesson to my sister? I'm not sure and maybe I'm just being preachy but I think that knowing where you came from and why your life is how it is, is well important. We lament and celebrate and learn from the past.

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Never Listened to True Colours

I have to admit I'm nervous about this blog post. It talks about something that can make a lot of people angry. But there are things in life that I refer to as big deals and these are important to talk about




1[deel] Something that is loud inside you. The big priorities. The passionate mealtime conversations, the things that foster friendships and screaming arguments. Things that shouldn't be shut up. Things that make you take chances. Beautifully Terrifying things.

When I set out on my blogging adventure I was at least partially going for a survival guide for teenagerdom and whether you want to admit it or not sexuality (overt,hidden,questioning,outing all that good stuff) are a part of it. Growing up is confusing period. Fate/God/Whatever you believe in likes to throw curve balls at us and we learn how to deal...somehow. It's hard when you suddenly become a minority and you suddenly have to rewrite your story from the typical "Get married to the opposite sex have at least one child have a successful career somewhere" to something else and continuing with this rewrite metaphor I guess you could say that there's a chance that the publisher won't like this rewrite or you have to break it to your "creators" that you'll be taking things in a new direction and that there no longer going to be writers on your team (I spent a long time with this whole analogy please don't judge me too harshly). But you have to take that chance because in the end there are going to be people in this world who love your story and can see the whole picture and they'll love you. They'll suprise you.
It's how we handle these big scary things that is universal.
We talk things out with anyone even ourselves
We make a plan to be flexible
We remember that we are good people and that in the end everything will be okay