But it all fades into morning when you open your eyes

So I auditioned for my school's coffeehouse! It went well and I was already for a post about challenging yourself and how sometimes we get so sick of our own lives that we do something crazy and out of the ordinary (and that post may come at a later date). Then I got into a fight with a friend and I was going to post about how sometimes we get so blind-sided by building emotions and short sentences that we miss the massive giant really really important point and in the end we get into massive fights and stuff (but then I realized I had learned nothing and it wouldn't make a very good post.)

Then I heard the news.

And I knew that things were different now. I knew what I would write about.

It's hard to get into someone else's head. Especially when you are opinionated and stubborn. So we see the black and white picture we go "This is wrong and scary. If I were you and would run away and never look back" because in our heads this is what makes sense to us. But then we remember that time where we tried to explain that thing we did to someone and everyone else just thought we were stupid.

And then you get it.

Terrible things are going to happen. They shouldn't and nobody deserves them and maybe there will come a time where everybody's lives are perfect. But right now they're not.But we trust that in these things we can only grow. We have to grow or we just throw in the towel. And we'll never understand why these things happen or how they happened or how we could let this happen but what we have to do is offer an awkward hug and cry and figure out what is going to happen.

Well I got sicker blaaahhhh. Then reality kicked in and I realized that had to pass science and math. But here I am! Summertime awaits full of possible lessons for me and my sisters.
Today I learned about possibility. Today I learned that it is the most fickle thing in the world and that sometimes when everything is new and possible and there are two months of freedom awaiting you.
Everything can seem a little dark cause one tiny door is slowly closing. But here's the kicker.
that doesn't mean the end of the world.
Do we get to be worried? Sad? Confused? Of course! But the fact is that chances are always going to be out there and maybe I'm being to hard on myself maybe the chance still is there. But it's the eternal fight for optimism that keeps life interesting.