Falling, yes I am falling, And she keeps calling me back again.

Today I learned about promises. When I was studying for my anthropology/psychology/sociology exam there were questions about human potential and as usual I over analyzed everything  but it made me think about promise and potential.

This summer has the promise to be a lot of things as most summers do. Two months will fly by and in a way this is a last summer. Next year will be about goodbyes and moving on. So this summer has to count. We can try and make lists and plans but we know those only sometimes come to fruition. So we promise and we trust in the promise of summer. The promise of our potential. We will create more memories with the people we hold dear. 

Two months is filled with everything. I know it won't be 90210 and it probably won't even be Daria or Glee but it will be life. 

That will be enough.

This is short but I think it's important.

So the universe seems to be against my blogging.

So yesterday I learned that when falling off a horse one must always try to avoid falling on their shoulder.

Cause you break your collarbone.

And that is the end of that. 

This means that posting is going to be a bit infrequent because I can type with only one hand and that is incredibly infuriating.

Yesterday I also learned about people and bonding. It's funny because the thing about getting to know people is that you are rarely conscious of it.  Because maybe you are the kind of person who is always seen in the background of the cast photos, always reading a book but always listening. It sometimes takes months for you to realize that you have somehow gotten to know these people. A quick chat backstage, a friendly greeting sometime during the week. You all are sharing a common experience,giving birth to something bigger than yourselves.
I learned that it's easy to ignore this. That it's easy to decide that you are a separate piece because that frees you from the responsibility.
I'm not saying that through these experiences you are making these people your new best friends but I am saying that we all need to take a moment and see how much we have changed. See what we have let into our lives.
And be grateful.
And care.

Here's to You...

Well it's been just over 24 hours since it happened and I am convinced that I've stop crying at the mention of it. Nothing terrible happened (thank god) but I don't think I've been this affected by any piece of acting this much ever. See we are doing historical monologues in drama class and Andrew Chown has proved to me that he is going to go places. He wrote a monolouge set during the final moments of Tony Chambers who was a mentally disabled man who was executed due to charges related to the rape and murder of an 11 year old girl. However the circumstances surrounding these charges have been deemed unethical by some.

It's not just that it was a brilliant preformance it that after I stopped crying I realized

This is what it's all about

I know I say that a lot but I've started to realize that there is not a single "meaning of life" but instead there is a lot of things crammed together and if we can figure at least one of them out then we're doing a pretty good job.

See passion is important and I believe that everyone has a talent so I guess it works out that our talents can become our passion.

Everyone has the chance to affect people for the better. To laugh,to cry to learn we might not know whats going on but we can be sure we are being affected. I can't say I am sure what my talent is. I like reading and writing and offering my uneducated therapist copying gut feeling psych help. But I know that if I can see the talent and beauty of a total stranger then there's got to be something for me too.

So I hope that the world see's Andrew Chown. I hope that we can all learn to see our talents and take action. The world can be such a terrifying and rejecting place but maybe if a few people change the way they think and a few more people take a chance and throw themselves out there then maybe the world will become a better place.

Here's to you world. Hope to hear better things from you soon.

Colour My Life With The Chaos Of Trouble

Happy American Thanksgiving to my south of the border readers!

This post is kind of perfectly placed seeing as it's around a food based holiday and seeing as I was JUST DISCHARGED FROM THE EATING DISORDER CLINIC!

So naturally this post is going to be about body image. Cause it's a huge thing for (here's the shocker for some) EVERYONE! Female,male,gay,straight,all races all religions. Our own self image particularly the physical one is something that follows us around. Over the past two years that I've been with the clinic (Yet another reason I am so happy with Canadian healthcare system seriously I don't know what we would of done if the program cost money) I've learned a lot about body image. In todays crazy world with models having photoshopped heads bigger than their hips not only is it hard enough to have a good body image but in fact there's almost this pressure to have a poor one. Few people want to have the tagline of "they think their the shit" but I don't think it's wrong to look in a mirror and say "Damn I look good today" I hope my readers don't have a problem with doing this because the greatest thing ever is that you can change the whole tone of that often so critical once over that groups of people do when they look in the mirror.

There is two loud voices in the world when it comes to body image there is the WOMEN WITH CURVES ARE SEXY AND ANYONE ELSE IS NOT A REAL WOMAN and then there is Karl Lagerfeld. I can't say I agree with either of these voices. Thats why I love this there are women of colour,women of all ages and weights, body types and abilities. And they look strong and attractive. I've learned that making your voice heard is important and whether you follow popular or unpopular viewpoint as long as you are not spreading hate well your doing the right thing. I've learned it's easier to love others when you love yourself and the tiniest positive change you make sends signals out to the world that loving yourself and being comfortable in your own skin is a good thing and though it can be the hardest thing you've done at first it get's easier.

In other news I will be attending the Christmas formal. Now to look for something to wear....

Today I learned about people.
Broad opening sentence don't you think? But really,today I learned that you never have anybody all figured out. I hate to admit that. Cause to so many people I'm a confidante and I like to think I have everyone figured out. I like to think that bi-weekly therapy visits have basically given me a degree in psychology. But you never figure everything out about everyone. Or anyone for that matter.
Isn't that kind of beautiful?
Cause mystery is beautiful it's exciting and strange and well. I relish it! I love the idea of getting to know someone. Whether that means making a new friend,going on a date,or just have a real talk with your best friend like when you were in grade six and spent hours talking over movies eating jumbo bags of popcorn.
also... MARY POSTED ON MY BLOG. YES THE REST OF CYBERSPACE I DON'T THINK YOU CAN HEAR ME BUT SHE DID.
Countdown till summer starts hopefully it's one of learning (Note to self after Monday start emptying your head of formulas for the days ahead)