Showing posts with label big deals. Show all posts
Showing posts with label big deals. Show all posts

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

365 Days Five Hundred Twenty Five Thousand Six Hundred Minutes 52 Lessons

It's been one year. Can you believe it? I've stuck with this for one year and I hope that there are many more.

This post is going to be a bit of a retrospective and a bit of personal reflection and hopefully a few lessons thrown in. Usually I spend a few days working blog posts over but today is important and I need to get a post done.
I was reading over my first post and I've never had an incredible memory but I can remember the exact moment that I was describing in that introduction. I remember the song I was listening to (window bird by stars) and I remember what floor I was on as I stood in the elevator (six). I remember the questions I was asking myself all of which were about relationships and who asks who and all that crap. I asked questions like What does a date entail? Do teachers ever tell you the truth? How do you separate something deep from a pile of angst?
I can now say
1)  I already answered this in another post
2) Teacher do tell the truth sometimes. Teachers can be total ass faces but they can also be the kind of people who change your life. 
3) You separate something deep from a pile of angst by waiting. Passionate speeches work really well in works of fiction but often if we attempt them in real life we end up embarrassing ourselves or sounding incredibly cheesy. In a year I've had to say a lot of important things to a lot of important people. Some of these things I thought out and waited before saying and others I just blurted out. The things I thought about always were a little less angsty and went over a little better.
I thought it would be cool to compile a list of all the lessons I've learned/taught this year so here we go!

1. Preparation is  just as important as the end result
2.You never figure everything out about everyone. Or anyone for that matter.
3.Never trust ANYONE who tells you where your exam is not the commissionaire or your classmates NOBODY
4.Possibility is the most fickle thing in the world and when it disappears that is not the end of the world. 
5.Summer doesn't have to be defined by how many people I hang out with or parties or events
6.often all a day needs is a new playlist,a good library book and shade in your favorite hammock.
7.Remember to listen. Not just hear but listen.
8.Love,Like,Relationships are never ever easy.
9.That your body will change. You have to accept that slowly and learn to at least like it.
10.It's okay to lack religion but life is pretty hard when you lack belief.
11.Accomplishments are measured by "Done" lists not "To Do" lists.
12.Expectations are important not only do that make life worth living by giving us a reason to wake up in the morning.
13.People lie..
a lot.
14.It's okay to cry.
15.We're always going to make mistakes with our friends.
16.The worst thing that can ever happen when you try is that you will fall flat on you're face. But at least you can say "I was there"
17.Sarcasm is fun optimism helps us grow.
18.Scary things are important.
20.There is no way that you can grow up without assessment.
21.life doesn't have to be about deep thoughts or trying to get somewhere with something all the time.
22.Growing up is confusing period
23.there are things in life that I refer to as big deals and these are important to talk about
24.knowing where you came from and why your life is how it is, is well important. We lament and celebrate and learn from the past.
25.We all get pigheaded and sometimes it's a good thing, being able to stick to your guns makes your a better debater/conversationalist/interesting person.
26.Making your voice heard is important and whether you follow popular or unpopular viewpoint as long as you are not spreading hate well your doing the right thing. 
27.maybe it's this crazy rush to get all the cool/important stuff in that helps us prioritize.
28.you could be in a box car or something in the middle of winter with not much else and as long as you had great people with you then it won't be so bad.
29.classy and comfortable always beat out skanky and uncomfortable.
30.there is not a single "meaning of life" but instead there is a lot of things crammed together and if we can figure at least one of them out then we're doing a pretty good job.
31.Having passion is imporant.
32.We all can so often find ourselves obsessed with perfection especially during the holidays. But that is never going to happen so we might as well give it our best shot and then throw in the towel.
33.Check the expiry dates on tofu.
34.we all need to set goals because that's what gives us the motivation to have our done lists.
35. On new years eve You can't look back and focus on the bad or the mediocre. You have to find one day where you felt infinite and hope that by this time next year that you can find at least two.
36.Listening to the voice inside your head and talking it out can be good (Of course only when this voice is normal and not talking shit about you or telling you to do bad things.If so get help asap)
37.Change is always a mixed bag.
38.sometimes despite our innate stubbornness the smartest thing is to get out.
39.Terrible things are going to happen. They shouldn't and nobody deserves them and maybe there will come a time where everybody's lives are perfect. But right now they're not.But we trust that in these things we can only grow.
40.Love your neighbourhood. Go take pictures. Remember that this will always be "home" because this is where you grew up. You will come back and the tree's will seem a little less tall your neighbour's garden a little less lush and the playground will be a little less maintained but you will have pictures.
You will have memories.
You will have your childhood forever preserved by a street sign.
41.Maybe we can only change ourselves about 15% and that makes sense to me. But even if we can only change 15% there is so much out there that we can experiment with. So out of 100 attempts at change we get 15 right and 85 other learning experiences.
42.Volunteering is simply about time. It's about effort and contributing no matter what the cost. In a way it's about giving up and giving of yourself. 
43.experimenting is important. Being safe while experimenting is of course one of the more important parts of that lesson but it's easy to forget that  old saying "You're only young once". 
44.we all need to take a moment and see how much we have changed. See what we have let into our lives.
And be grateful.
And care.
45.Sometimes you have to go with your gut
46.sometimes we need to let go. 
47.every once and a while you need to remind yourself that the world revolves around the sun not you.
48.I've learned that nothing ever works out the way we script it as.
50. We need to learn to show more sides of ourselves or maybe accept the fact that there will be a different public self and until our world gets a little more diverse it'll be a pretty narrow picture.
51.There will be things that we can never do alone but that we have to. Things like solo's or making tough decisions about your own future. 
So we have to tell ourselves to take a back seat. We have to get rid of everything inside of us that is scared or worried or unsure.
52.There are lessons and beauty in every moment of sadness and joy and anger and confusion.

I hope I have taught my sisters something. I know I have taught myself something.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

The North American Dream Sweeping Team.

Today I learned about humility. When you are a white middle class teenage girl (or anyone really though the white middle class is especially good at this) it's easy to see yourself as a "saviour" (a great example of this is How Not to Write About Africa). I have to say I was like that when I learned I would be participating in a habitat for humanity project. It's easy to get a swollen head when people are telling you how great it is that you are doing this, the gift that you are giving someone.
Yes I am giving the gift of my time, I am making a small small contribution. 
I had to be reminded of that. We all have to be reminded of that.
How?
Well sweeping for about eight solid hours will do that for you.
I did briefly use some power tools and I put up some drywall but basically it was solid sweeping. Picking up discarded pieces of wood and insulation. Cleaning, cleaning and more cleaning.
I must admit I complained. I bitched. But I got the job done. By the end of the day I was tired and covered in a thin layer of dust.
I was at a loss for what I had learned. What I had contributed.
It was only when I saw on my facebook page that another student was talking about how happy he was that he didn't go. That it was ridiculous to spend $50 dollars on a broom (all participants must raise $50 in pledges.)
That's when I saw the I's. That's when I realized that this day wasn't about being a saviour and it wasn't a waste of time.
Volunteering is simply about time. It's about effort and contributing no matter what the cost. It's about solitude sometimes and bonding with people others. It's about doing what is needed not what looks pretty. It's about giving everything you have whether it's your talents or simply some physical labour.
In a way it's about giving up and giving of yourself. 
So I guess the only thing I'm left wondering is
What are we going to do next?





Thursday, February 4, 2010

Prooouuddd Proud to be Proud to see (this moment demands a tegan and sara song)

It's been a crazy three days. I've learned that discrimination is out there,ignorance is out there. Well I knew that but I don't think that I really understood what it felt like. I'm white and middle class living in liberal suburbia. But of course there will always be people who don't share my views...loudly. These views can be scary they can be offensive and in my mind they are wrong(but who am I to judge?). I know that people go through stuff like this every day. That discrimination or hatred is something that we will all experience and something we have to deal with.
I have been reminded though that I am a child. I can fight like an adult, I can speak like an adult but I am a child in this I realize that I should not have to feel the need to fight with adults every day.
So what do we do? For no matter how "average" my sister is she will experience some form of discrimination or belittlement.
Well we have a few options we can stay and fight, we can duck our heads down and hope for the best or we can get out.
You know sometimes despite our (my) innate stubbornness the smartest thing is to get out.
So I changed my schedule and since that 1:45 meeting with guidance I've had a massive smile on my face that nothing (not even the cooking class I know have to take) can wipe it off. I made my points I stood up for myself and what I believe in. I did all i could and maybe I didn't last long but I lasted long enough.
Now I'm going to keep myself safe because it is my right to feel safe where I learn.
I can handle that.


PS If your ever interested in the photography/less composed musings/musical tastes that I throw out onto the internet my tumblr is the place for that.


Friday, January 8, 2010

You Need To Read This

Being pushy on the internet is not usually a good thing. The internet is an angry angry place where people attack each other and prejudiced can be masked by usernames like sexii_angel_baby92. But I think it's time that my (some say pushy I say determined) personality shines through a little more. So if you only read one post on my blog read this one.
This is Nikki Mawanda, 27, who was born female but lives as a “trans-man” and his life is at risk.
There is something terrible going on in Uganda. See there's a law which originally would of allowed a gay genocide and now will probably be life imprisonment. Life in prison means hundreds of beatings and rape in a so called attempt to "cure" homosexuals.
See I know that marriage equality is important and I will of course be watching the prop 8 trials this week. But I can't really get into the whole marriage equality thing as much as I wish I could when something like this is going on. Because marriage equality cannot be the number one issue for the gay community if people are still being killed for who they love. So what can I do? What can you do?
1.Write. Write letters to the UN to your government representatives. Tell them that you care about this and that you want them to do something too. Write on your Facebook, Twitter your school newspaper and your blog.
2.Talk tell you friends. Make people so angry at you due to the fact that they won't shut up that they do something.
3. Protest. This ties into writing and talking but get together and join or create a demonstration.
4.Wear. Make a t shirt a tote bag a button that sparks conversation so you can work in number two if you are shy (like I am sometimes) and can't bring it up. If clothes are a way to show the world who you are then show the world that you want to stop this.
5.Donate. Places like the Astraea Lesbian Foundation are getting money to the precious few gay rights activists out there.
6.Read/Watch. Read the New York Times watch the Rachel Maddow show. The more informed you are the better you can talk and write and of course make cool liberal references "So I was watching the Rachel Maddow show..."
7. Reclassify While you are reading writing wearing talking donating and watching remind the world that these are not gay rights these are human rights. We need to reclassify and rehumanize these sort of things and remind people that every fight for rights of a human being affects them.
8.Finally though it sounds sappy. Pray or send out good vibes or just think of these people before you go to bed. There are so many people who use religion as a way to justify this kind of thing. Don't believe the crap God (or whatever you believe in) loves everybody end of story.

It's the second decade of the 21st century this kind of stuff should not be going on. It will not go on. Not if I have any say in it.