Falling, yes I am falling, And she keeps calling me back again.

Today I learned about promises. When I was studying for my anthropology/psychology/sociology exam there were questions about human potential and as usual I over analyzed everything  but it made me think about promise and potential.

This summer has the promise to be a lot of things as most summers do. Two months will fly by and in a way this is a last summer. Next year will be about goodbyes and moving on. So this summer has to count. We can try and make lists and plans but we know those only sometimes come to fruition. So we promise and we trust in the promise of summer. The promise of our potential. We will create more memories with the people we hold dear. 

Two months is filled with everything. I know it won't be 90210 and it probably won't even be Daria or Glee but it will be life. 

That will be enough.

This is short but I think it's important.

This is It

I started writing this blog near the end of my grade 10 year. Wow that seems so long ago already. Summer has a way of aging people... or at least making time stretch out into infinity.

I've had a lot of trouble writing this post. I feel like I have a responsibility to my few but wonderful readers to finish up my summer reflecting and being profound all packed into one superamazing end of summer post. Maybe I just put too much pressure on myself.

I wrote a list of goals for my summer and I was happy with it. In fact up until I started writing..I had every intention of copying and pasting that list into a new post and simply checking off what I had accomplished.

But then I realized.

Life doesn't have a report card.

Life is not about lists that we hold onto and then look back on with regret missing the good stuff. In the end life and accomplishments are measured by "Done" lists not "To Do" lists.

What is on these lists doesn't matter because with a little bit of effort you can find growth and beauty and something worthwhile in it all.

This is the most important lesson of the summer.

So without further ado

MY DONE LIST

Learned how to see and capture beauty with a film camera.

Sometimes updated my blog.

Wrote poetry and short stores.

Bought and wore beautiful clothing found a way to love my swimsuited body

Learned to rollerblade

Rollerbladed and Yoga'd regulary.

Experimented with new foods.

Saw friends

Said goodbye

Grew Up

Was brave

Accepted change and created some of my own

Worked on precious few guitar skills.

Even further expanded my musical spectrum.

Discovered.

This summer was was hard at times easy at others.

Always unpredictable, Always routine,Always new, Always old, Always sad, Always happy,Always hello's, Always goodbye's.

Always Learning.

Dreaming of the time when you are free from all the trouble you're in

Sorry for not updating in what feels like so long! So I combined one draft and one new lesson into a borderline sermon on discovery in the summertime.

Today I learned about "accomplishments" and how often we forget what they really are.

Summer "time" kicked in and I was shocked to find out that today was a Wednesday. That kind of scares me I don't want summer to slip by ala Arthur's "The Short Quick Summer"

But despite my qualms I am learning the joys of laziness. I've found a way to kill my internal clock and now can easily wake up at 10:00. This is important. So much of the time it feels like we are all under the gun. I'm all for one living life to the fullest like every day was my last etc etc.

I'm figuring out that summer doesn't have to be defined by how many people I hang out with or parties or events or anything like that. I can be a total recluse for days and then just go play tennis at the local courts and buy Dora the explorer Popsicles. That writing summer to do lists can be motivating and fun but often all a day needs is a new playlist,a good library book and shade in your favorite hammock. And that wraps up early summer lesson one.

Today I learned about friendships...and irony.

Today taught me that sometimes even when we are so convinced that were going to have one friend forever. Perhaps even remarking on this the morning before you see the other person,but maybe while sitting by the lake you realize.

"I'm outgrowing you"

And you don't want this,nobody wants it. But I think you really truly actually grow up the day you say "I don't care about growing up". I've never been one to judge and whatever illegal activities my teenage friends will involve themselves in I'm okay with that. But it's this absolute race to finish line of adulthood that scares me.

My friends call me a 40 year old. I like "strange music" Which by the way check out check Ohbijou and Regina Spektor they both have newish albums out and they are amazing!

But I think my most defining 40 year old quality is the fact that I am content where I am. I'm not searching for anything better I just want to try and learn as much as I can prepare yet live in the moment and live a great life full of contradictions and confusion and new experiences.

So I grow up, I grow down but in the end we all outgrow. The nice thing about the past though is that we never have to kill the memories. I will laugh at my grade 7 "I'm so dark and twisted lets wear lots of eyeliner and take it off before I go home"stage. I'll cry at the sad memories we shared I'll laugh at our moments of silliness. But in the end things aren't the same. I'm not the same and she is. We'll move on in our lives and we can thank each other for helping each other make it this far.

Summer makes me reflective it makes me melancholy at times but I am always learning.