Friday, January 8, 2010

I Love My Room, I'm Getting Used To Sleeping

See the thing about internal monologues is that they makes things real. Our worst fears our insecurities go from a passing thought in your head to well a monologue with peaks and valleys a beginning middle and if your lucky an end. And well my name is Katie Kennific and my head has'nt shut up for sixteen years.
This is the latest monologue which opens my life as a movie and I think that it opens pretty much at this moment ( I started this on a mobile blogger thing and I really should be doing school related activities). See my life has gone from dysfuntional teen drama to the land of quirk in about a year and it's kind of making me suicidal.
You know they say that you realize that your never going to be rock star when you turn 25. Of course I never wanted to be a rock star all I ever want is a nice position at the New York Times but I mean if your granting dreams if I could be a kick ass combo of Rachel Maddow and Tina Fey that would be great. But I'm starting to wonder if even that is possible cause I can't handle grade eleven culminatings/exams.
Also I would like to assure anyone who is reading this that I am still my (moderately) sane self and I am at least trying to be optimistic. I;m just so melodramatic it hurts.
In short January is depressing. It's cold for some exams and culminatings are starting the only holiday to look forward to is valentines day (or international singles appreciation day ISAD). What makes this whole thing harder is the internal monologue. Because these are the things that you don't know how to say to anyone and really your not 100 percent sure whether what you are feeling is universal or if you really just need to see someone. So what do you do? You write quick thoughts in a notebook talk things out with yourself (but try not to do this in the company of others) and hope that your head can shut up. I'm not sure if this is a lesson or simply the ravings of a girl trying to write a two act play for Saturday when really her and her group just came up with the concept in the last five minutes of class yesterday. But I do know three things
1. Listening to the voice inside your head and talking it out can be good (Of course only when this voice is normal and not talking shit about you or telling you to do bad things)
2. I will now commence work on a post about my latest cause the kill the gays bill
3.Please be kind dear readers I'm so stressed my head is going to explode.


  1. Hi Katie, I'm glad you left me your link! Going through your blog right now :)

  2. you are so easy to relate to. I complete know how you feel. the winter is always depressing, especially with midterms... right now, really the only things that keeps me going is spontaneous dancing sessions in my room to, atleast for a few minutes, forget about everything that's going on in my mind.

  3. Katie-where are you from? Just don't see a lot of people with the same last name. You have a talent with writing!

    Adam Kennific