Friday, March 12, 2010

We're so helpless, we're slaves to our own forces.

Last night I preformed at my school's coffeehouse. I also helped to run it but that seemed secondary to the iron fist of nerves which was holding my stomach in a death grip. But you know what? I was ready and like all things I learned something.
Fear is something that we let define us, at least partially. Our fears (my fears) help to define us.
A fear of preforming, a fear of germs all of these things stop us from living our lives.
We might not even realize that we want to do these things but there comes a night when we are sleep deprived and anxious and make an angst ridden conclusion such as....oh I don't know
"I hate my life and everything about it and I'm so boring so let's do something totally out of character"
But you know what?
Despite all my freaking out it was okay.
I don't feel any different and maybe that's not the point of it all.
A Modern Family episode talked about how maybe we can only change ourselves about 15% and that makes sense to me. But even if we can only change 15% there is so much out there that we can experiment with. So out of 100 attempts at change we get 15 right and 85 other learning experiences.
Sounds pretty good to me.

1 comment:

  1. It's always so hard to get up in front of a group of people and let them see a little of who you are. Good for you for being so brave!